- “Don’t be afraid to be afraid. Have fear, and then conquer the shit out of it.” ― D. Antoinette Foy
- “I had a dream about you last night… You tried to propose with a digital ceramic heater.” ― Amy Summers, I Had a Dream About You
- I don’t even read the papers. I read ‘USA Today’ because it has color photos. Jimmy Fallon
- “Excuse me, your attention please.” He waited until the whole floor had stopped what it was doing and turned to face him. For a split second his impulse control kicked in, but by then his mouth was fully engaged. “For the record, Claire Marsden and I are not having sex.” ― Sarah Mayberry, Can’t Get Enough
- “Here,” Myrnin said, his voice still gentle and low. “Amelie said you had to work. No one said you had to work alone.” He picked up the next part and slotted it in, took the screwdriver from Claire’s numbed fingers, and fastened it with a couple of deft, fast movements. “I’ll be your hands.”She wanted to cry, because it was so sweet, but it wouldn’t do any good.” ― Rachel Caine, Ghost Town
- “Right. Because if you have trouble putting ketchup and mustard on a hot dog, you should totally move on to saving lives.” ― Huntley Fitzpatrick, My Life Next Door
- “Grabbing a scarf off the chair, I threw it at him. He caught it, clutching it to his chest as he flew into the air. “You gave Tink a scarf. Tink is free!” He flew out into the hallway like a little cracked-out fairy, screeching, “Tink is freeeeee!”Ren looked at me. “What the actual f**k?”I sighed. “He’s obsessed with Harry Potter. I’m sorry.”Tink darted back into the room, holding the scarf to his bare chest. “There is no reason to apologize when it comes to Harry Potter.””You do remember what happened to Dobby, right?” I said.”S**t.” Tink’s eyes widened and he dropped the scarf.” ― Jennifer L. Armentrout, Wicked
- Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the week. Spanish proverb
- Marriage is a 24 hour job. You get married, you’re no longer an individual. You can’t do nothing by yourself when you get married. Everything is a team effort. ‘Us’, ‘we’, ‘let’s’, honey, come on partner. You can’t do nothing by yourself. Kevin: Baby I’m gonna be right back I’m going to the store. Wife: Well, wait, let me get my coat. Kevin: Bit__, it’s right there on the corner. I just wanna get some chips. I ain’t going to sleep with nobody. Kevin Hart (YouTube video)
- “Sophie, honey, stop looking at me like that,” Garrett said gruffly. “You’ll have me convinced I’m going to die.”“You’re not?” ― Maya Banks, No Place to Run
- “A boo is a lot louder than a cheer.” ― Lance Armstrong
- Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves? Robin Williams
- Kids are like buckets of disease that live in your house. Louis C.K.
- “If an apology is followed by an excuse or a reason, it means they are going to commit same mistake again they just apologized for.” ― Amit Kalantri
- Everything is changing. People are taking the comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke. Will Rogers
- If a woman tells you she’s twenty and looks sixteen, she’s twelve. If she tells you she’s twenty-six and looks twenty-six, she’s damn near forty. Chris Rock
- “I had a dream about you last night.. You were playing with chicken livers and told me everyone was in quarantine.” ― Amy Summers, I Had a Dream About You
- “I’d love to be what I have been.” ― Raheel Farooq
- “I’ve had great success being a total idiot. ” ― Jerry Lewis
- “…”Bist du Vegetarierin?” […] “Wieso?””Weil ich so eine Theorie habe: Wenn wir sterben, darf jedes Tier, das wir gegessen haben, dafür uns fressen. Und wenn du als Fleischfresser mal alle Tiere zusammenzählst, die du in deinem Leben gegessen hast – da kommt eine Menge Zeit im Fegefeuer zusammen, in der irgendwelche Viecher auf dir rumkauen?””Im Ernst jetzt?”Sie lacht. “Nein. Ich kann die Frage bloß nicht mehr hören…” ― David Levithan, Every Day
- “Do you know where your breakthrough begins? Your breakthrough begins where your excuses ends.” ― Patience Johnson, Why Does an Orderly God Allow Disorder
- Behing every great man is a woman rolling her eyes. Jim Carrey
- Don’t text or twitter during the show. Just live your life. Don’t keep telling people what you’re doing. Also it lights up your big dumb face. Louis C.K.
- Remember, when you are dead, you do not know you are dead. It is only painful for others. The same applies when you are stupid. Ricky Gervais
- “If one thousand of you participate in the murder of one child, then one thousand of you are a thousand times guilty.” ― Compton Gage
- “In life, more than in anything else, it isn’t easy to end up alive.” ― Roman Payne
- My esteem in this country has gone up substantially. It is very nice now that when people wave at me, they use all their fingers. Jimmy Carter (US president 1977 to 1981)
- “If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the up button.” ― Sam Levenson
- See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time. Robin Williams
- Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. George Carlin